"People need injections of leadership development at critical stages of their career. Here management writer and consultant, Anthony Landale, looks at the issue of leadership transition and focuses on a modular programme that has been helping Unilever’s fast trackers to become the leaders they want to be."
Read full article here.
Imagine being asked this question many years into the future. How could you answer it in a way that had you feel truly proud of the life that you had lived?
For many of us we wish that our lives were more. We wish that we could be happier, be more fulfilled, be more confident, take more risks, have more fun, live closer to the edge, eat more ice cream and dance in public with carefree abandon. For many of us we know that we could do all of this if we could only interrupt the daily habit of our lives and create the time, the energy and a real belief in the possibilities that already exist in our lives.
So why don’t we spend more time living the lives we feel we were born to lead?
There is something that happens to us as we get older, something that can often reduce the risks that we are willing to take in our life. I think that this something is often tied into our own sense of self belief. Our self image created by what we have done in the past, by what has happened to us that feeds a smaller, less potent version of who we really are. It encourages us to tolerate the areas of our lives that are really unacceptable to our true selves. It insists that we put up with our jobs, our relationships and our small or non existent sense of purpose – because you know what, it’s safe, and safe is linked with comfortable.
I meet many people in the course of my work who tell me that their life isn’t the one they would have chosen but it’s good enough, it’s ok. They’re not that happy, fulfilled or purposeful, but they’re not miserable either. They’ll often talk about the responsibilities they have to meet and they list them with a sense of immovable stuckness – mortgage, credit card payments, school fees, car repayments, career. They’ll often say to me “It could be a lot worse.” I agree, it could. It could also be a lot more extraordinary.
What are you tolerating in your life right now, today?
What would you be doing today if your life was extraordinary?
These are questions that we don’t always find it easy to answer, in fact these questions can often make us quite angry. They’re the sort of questions that interrupt our daily routine and have us sit back and think.
For years I tolerated my own lack of self belief. I felt that I was a victim to life’s events and that I was probably powerless to affect much of what went on around me. This belief was given to me in my childhood and then I spent much of my time as young adult confirming that it was true.
As I started to see what I was tolerating in my life due to this belief I became very angry. Angry with me, angry with others and angry with the world in general. I had created a life for myself that was as safe as possible and designed to have me hurt as little as possible. Ironically as I looked at this little box I had designed for myself I could see how unhappy it was making me. Yes I was safe but I wasn’t fulfilled. My desire for safety had put me into a mediocre job, a series of relationships that never went anywhere and a social life that was filled with a lot of meaningless activity that distracted me from the reality.
What I have discovered over the years is that there is another way of approaching life. One that isn’t focused on safety and just making it through to the end. It’s a way of being truly alive to the possibilities in your life and living the dreams that we all still have. It’s called being extraordinary.
So imagine you’re being asked, years from now:
How has your life been extraordinary?
What did you do to fulfill your dreams?
Start to write down some bold answers to these questions and then go out and have a look at the possibilities.
By Ian Lock
A few weeks ago I picked up the practice of Tai Chi after a gap of nearly 20 years. I enrolled in a local class on a Saturday morning and showed up for my first session. It was a great experience and felt brilliant to be getting back into something that I had enjoyed and derived great benefit from in the past.
Having practised Tai Chi before, I have some vague remembered knowledge of what it’s about, the forms that it involves and the philosophy behind it. That helped me as I was driving to my first class. I thought ‘I won’t be a complete novice, I’ve done this before and I might even know what I’m doing’. There were, however, some things that had a big impact on me during my first session.
As the lesson progressed my assumed knowledge started to get in the way of my listening and my learning and I quickly noticed how I might want to change my approach if I wanted to learn anything. Everyone else in the class had been attending for at least a year and I was clearly the novice in the room by quite a distance. I had by this time reconciled myself to listening and learning from the teacher, a difficult thing as she kept talking to me as if it was my first time and consistently pointing out where I was going wrong! She was actually doing this in a really committed and engaging way but I think I must be out of practice at being a learner so I was feeling a bit out of my depth. Imagine my internal reaction when she suggested that other members of the class work with me and teach me too. There I was with people I had never met before telling me how to do things and pointing out where I was making mistakes. Internally my resistance started to build and I suddenly noticed how uncoachable I had become. I took a deep breath and opened myself up to learning all that I could from those around me and the change in my energy and their ability to teach me transformed.
The second lesson a week later was completely different , what we did was almost exactly the same as the week before but the possibilities for me had just got much bigger.
I’ve learnt a lot in my first 2 lessons and not all of it has been about Tai Chi!
Leadership nudge – What are you doing this week and how might you achieve more if you flex your learning muscle?
By Ian Lock
When you think about ‘being extraordinary’ does this mean you somehow have to achieve the almost impossible?
I was thinking about this when suddenly on the radio I heard a programme all about ‘extraordinary moments in 2012’. Yes some attention was paid to those truly inspiring Olympians but people very quickly started to talk about things in their life which were much more everyday. People who had got married, or got in touch with people they hadn’t seen for years. People who had tackled some adversity they faced or who had done something they never thought they’d be able to do.
As I listened more closely to these stories what I began to see was what really made people extraordinary was that they were in touch with something that mattered to them. And being extraordinary wasn’t so much about what they had achieved but more about the way they had put themselves behind their core values and beliefs. They had taken a risk, given it a go and decided that in some way their cause was worth it.
As a coach I often work with people to find ways to take a step forward in their life and one of the pieces of work in 2012 of which I’m most proud was helping a young man, called Rob, to get out of the poverty trap he had found himself in. It wasn’t always easy but Rob was fed up with his own excuses and had come to me looking for help. What was obvious from the first was that he was willing to work on his own attitudes, behaviour and habits. He identified some areas of his life, such as with his clients and with his family, where there were real opportunities to be different and what he found was that it wasn’t nearly so hard as he had imagined. He started trying things out and people quickly started to respond to him differently and in his work in particular he started to be much more successful.
I think Rob has had an ‘extraordinary’ 12-18 months and from being in poverty when we first met he announced at out last meeting that he’s now even employing someone to help with the amount of work he’s got coming in. Rob made this happen over time. He hasn’t been extraordinary every moment of every day but he has been paying attention to what really matters to him and he has been startled by his own progress. Not surprisingly he is far more motivated and happier in his life.
So how can you have an extraordinary year ahead? Here are some pointers
• Get clear on what matters to you. It doesn’t matter if that’s getting ahead with your career, having more fun in your life, having a big adventure or spending more quality time with your family – just make sure you know where you are focusing
• Find someone you can speak to about why this matters and what you are going to do about it. You might even describe to them what success for you will look like when you get there
• Get started and take the first step. This might be a call or an email to someone you know. It might mean you doing some research or doing something that you’ve been putting off for a long time.
• And finally keep on looking for those everyday opportunities where you can show up with energy and belief and dare to go for it
By Anthony Landale
